being 20 means?

i'm frustrated.

i thought i would really enjoy my time staying at home and going out with my family and so on... but all I see and feel now is that I'm the completely rebellious type and really, there IS a generation gap.

why do i feel there's a generation gap? Cos I'm frowned upon when I do so many things. This is like some typical stuggle of the "kadult", responsibilities of an adult but rights of a kid... this is so drawn out from teenage textbook or something =)

sigh.. i dun want to say what "why others can do this and I can't" cos there's no point and people will just retort saying there's no point comparing.. but seriously, it's not like i'm taking drugs and smoking crack or something.. I'm JUST staying up late!?!

switch off lights liao, volume to zero liao and playing games but still created the biggest furore at 3am. Call it overeaction man.

Whatever. I'm really quite pissed. This actually accelerates my desire to go overseas. and THAT is sad.

hoping for a better 2006

woeful times

i need to learn how to forgive.

that or I'll forever be guilty for some things.. hmmm.. it's true ain't it? the person who suffers the most is the person who cannot forgive and cannot forget things done to them - simply because he is constantly plagued by it and can even get guilty over it.

i'll try my best with God then. erase the "emotional" scars, and then carry on with life.. =)

aniwez, I'm very glad for one matter which is that my uni apps are FINALLY done!~ yippee! well, besides Michigan who thankfully has a deadline @ Feb 1... So now I'll just wait and see.. hopefully i get something.. haha.. i dunno what God's plans are for me now.. used to be darn adamant about going US and having a blast of a time.. but now, I'll just leave it to God lah, cos I realise whatever decision I make can be potentially flawed in anyway. so whether it's Singapore or USA, whether i get into a school or what.. haha.. I'll just leave it to God lah...

hee.. i wanna go back to the Chinatown shop to get more cds.. think i'm very shopping deprived. Haven't yet bought a single thing for these two months I think... wow.. haha

hee hee

i'm pretty gleeful i found the cd shop @ chinatown that sells parallel import cds at even cheaper prices of 5 to 6 bucks.. yippee!

got November Chopin since Nocturne (Ye Qu) kept replaying in my mind
also got Great Leap Forward to somewhat complete my David Tao collection.. but hehe.. i realise similar to k-box that doesn't read the Ze in "Tao Ze", my creative zen also can't read it...

aniwez speakign of my creative zen really makes me pissed. stupid machine works like 50% of the time or less for goodness knows what reason. when i sent it for repair at creative the retarded sales people said something like "oh.. you cannot switch on mcafee or the likes whilst ripping your tracks into the mp3 player or it will corrupt the file... HARH!?!

oh well.

my dad couldn't believe prices were so cheap and was pretty convinced they were pirated and the sound quality etc would be affected. sigh.. even self made burnt cds have no prob with quality lah...

i'm still so gleeful for my one week hols with absolutely nothing to do yet.. yah..can sleep in the afternoon, sleep late, go out at anytime of the day.. =) such freedom long never experience liao =)

christmas has a meaning... found it?

today is christmas eve.. here's a "jia-you!" to Jiaxin who's doing duty today... too bad the TV ain't working... *wry smile

went for an evangelistic event at my church today at night instead of merely just going to orchard road to "soak up the atmosphere". and you know what, methinks it's much much better than prancing around orchard road...

i think soaking up the atmosphere makes no sense if u don't even know the whole point of it.. so seriously amidst the glittering lights and fanciful bargains, I don't think there's much meaning... but somehow, the joy I felt at seeing family members of friends accepting Christ on this special day.. really touched my heart...

and to feel the real meaning of Christmas... the joy that God sent his only son to earth to save us from our sins.. something we cannot do either by our own merit or by our own thoughts... it's amazing lor.

i'm actually pretty sad that I nearly forgot about the whole meaning of christmas whilst frantically rushing through my essays... was even lamenting I had no chance to go orchard road and shop and all the crap... geez.

so people, know the true meaning of christmas? If not, come down to any of the churches on 25th, Christ's birthday to join in the celebrations and understand the true meaning of it all!

on an afterthought, Narnia was pretty decent, despite the incredibly cheesy moments during Peter's rite of passage into adulthood... i mean all the knightly stuff he was trying to do.. people were actually laughing at it... but overall, Tilda Swinton rocked man! acting like a complete dominatrix feminazi amazion warrior.. i know the idiot of a linken would start saying I'm living vicariously through such characters by screw him lor.

oh well... i just realised... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

and i am gonna "kope" a picture from dan's blog... here's my "class" gathering @ marche yet again... haha.. the rest of the class is scattered round the world..

i want a dog

christmas is finally approaching! i have this "holidays-must-be-family-days-so-must-be-very-happy-and-do-lots-of-stuff" syndrome sometimes.. but think after learning from my birthday, it's best not to expect too much and just be.. well cheerful for each day eh? everyday is special as long as you spread warmth and love to others.. haha

ended my duty in the morning(last of the year duh!), and then proceeded to bid farewell to my bunk for the last time.. =) then went to eat breakfast with my parents @ crystal jade @ holland v.. there i saw a cute fuzzy dog that was limping around pitifully and i was like "so poor thing.. let's adopt it lah"...

my dad's reaction? "so dirty like a mongrel, better not touch later kena disease" -_-

and at that exact moment some caucasian went towards the dog to check what happen and massage its feet whilst tickling it..

that was such a touching move.. and says alot about different perspectives towards things eh?

i told my dad afterwards that if he saw a dirty scruffy child wandering around the streets looking pitifully would he also say the same words to the child.. -_-

oh well.. looks like despite my obvious soft spot for dogs.. i ain't gonna get one anytime soon

why chinese directors should not be given too much money

seriously when the reviews said the promise was bad, i didn't know the bad-ness started straight away... geez.. i thought 15 million was spent on this? what happened to the special effects?! why was everything so fakish like the circular palace and the underwater scenes? surely the money could be put to better use?

if that wasn't bad enough, i think chen kaige didn't quite know what he was aiming for in his movie.. he tried to put together some artistic, mysterious, cryptic tale with matrixy effects, somewhat like combining the artistry of colours in Zhang Yimou's Hero with the fighting sequences akin to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and add the mysterious element of Legend to form the promise...

more like promise to flop... geez.

i guess you can figure how bad the movie reeks when a typical melodramatic scene od the hero dying leaves people laughing and questioning instead..

seriously, it didn't quite make sense, the backdrops were painfully fake and the fighting scenes completely misleading.. what's the point then?

here's a tip to future chinese directors.. don't think you got a lot of money to splurge on movies and make beautiful sets then go and create some crappish mystical story with weak characters and attempt to enthrall audiences or create a blockbuster ala LOTR or Narnia.

it does. not. work. please spare the effort. and spare us the torture.

reunion time!

went for pretty many reunions this period of time cos I guess everyone wants to me up and see how everyone is before the year winds away..

met the OCS guys @ settler's cafe last sat where old cliques still remained and I guess people still generally remained the same.. it's nice to mix around with them again and realise.. things are still about the same a year away..

then met 1/4 of the class people today @ our lao di fang (sigh..) where we stayed put for 3 hours and the medical students were in full force, discussing cranium bones and parkinson's disease exercises.. wow.. is it an occupational hazard or what?

i'm seriously recontemplating whether taking medicine is a possible choice at times.. oh well.. I really dunno.. just see how things go? haha.. everyone seems so settled and secured in their education and lives and hear I am with no school hanging around with my money pool draining.. sigh.. security doesn't stick with me ehh

a lot of questions, a lot of issues... interesting times lie ahead..

so it was a wish not come true..

ok.. so i guess my number 1 wish for christmas didn't come true.. i didn't retrieve my 11B, Penn deferred me, sending me into a frenzy to apply for universities now and making me really stressed out over the whole event, and finally, I can't drive my dad's car to office tommorow liao...

oh well.. ya know something? i was surprisingly relaxed over the whole driving test thing considering how my sis was trying to prep my humongous ego from crashing when I most likely would fail, and how I reacted over Penn's deferrment.. really, i thank God for the fact for the church retreat, as well as my semi-meltdown over Penn, cos if not for that then maybe I'll really be crying by now... haha

but i actually don't think it's a big deal now lah... not trying to console myself, but think really there's no point getting frustrated over such stuff, but just let God lead... yeah, let Go and let God...

still need to work on the universities applications considering how scaringly near Jan 1 deadline is... sigh.. the hating of myself continues everytime I realise I have to rush report stuff and waste even more money.. but as I get more frustrated, I really again, thank God for the fact that He dropped friends around me who cared, called and unknownwingly consoled me over this semi-depression. =)

ok.. so now December is winding up, I'm all ready to enjoy Christmas! So soon leh... amidst my frustrations and worries I didn't even realise it! oh well.. i'll try to enjoy it amongst the piling admissions =)

disclaimer: to those who read this and think I'm going crazy or suffering from breakdown and start to console me or what, please don't. i'm not. it's just.. if you know me well enough, I ain't a person who goes around flinging my true emotions everywhere and hence I always just either project a stressed/aloof/sian mood...

for those who wanna gloat about my "failures", aiyah go on... the fact that I reported I failed my driving on my blog sort of already helped me break my ego barrier slightly, something which I am trying to learn daily and slowly change... that I'd be less arrogant and more dependent on God and to really open up..

changing apathy to love

yup, that's the theme of our church camp this year round, where both student and big bricks fellowship combined to have fun and get to know each other better...

got to learn alot from this retreat cos the theme resonated with what I felt about big bricks, that it was getting a little too.. staid? boring? apathetic?

i dunno. but i felt it lacked vitality and life. I guess Pastor Sim felt so too, and hence the theme of the retreat and the aim of the camp to inject fun into the fellowship and do serious review of fellowship aims and so on...

seriously, i think we are honestly heading in the right direction liao, and with the frowing population of the student fellowship, looks like things are looking good... thank god!

but the speaker did say alot of things that touched my heart... including that God loves me first and hence I should love Him back and spread this love, LIVE the love out... also that the love of God is so assuring that He will never leave you lonely and without a spiritual buddy nearby... they are like gems nearby for you to discover...

i dunno why that really touched me. maybe it's my whole life story of struggle with maintaining lasting relationships with friends or maybe it's just the SIMPLE yet POWERFUL assurance that aren't we just so blessed to have God's unchanging, reassuring love?

I can jolly well flunk all my exams, not get into a single school, knock down all the poles in the circuit.. but seriously, at the end state, God still loves me and i dunno.. but that message was just veru powerful.. it's just me He loves... not my actions or what, and now He wants me to spread this love to others.. to let them feel it too.

there was something else i felt too, I dunno maybe i'm thinking arrogantly again or what but I think God wants me to be a good example for the student fellowship younger boys cos somehow I seem to be able to connect to them not in a way like a Teacher or Mentor like Wenhan, but more as a older friend or so on... i dunno, but that's what I feel and if so, then well I'll try my best to reach out to them and understand them better...

Back to more practical stuff, today was pretty fun leh, though i din get to enjoy the games at all cos I was station master for one and organizing for the other. =( Still it's gratifying, (though irritating to train my humble)to see people thoroughly enjoying the game and telling you you did a good job.

We played Amazing Food Race and Night Treasure Hunt (an adaptation of a Survivor Immunity Challenge where contestants heard a story and ran about finding stations to answer questions). Gee.. guess who thought out the games? =)

Night Treasure Hunt turned out to be (methinks) a success thanks to God, cos the excitement was really there as all 4 teams found all 6 "cities" at around the same time and all dashed to locate a "key" in a dark room before desperately trying to find their lock at the carpark... a great finale i think and by the end everyone was wiped out but i guess thoroughly happy. Praise the Lord!

I'll post pics if I have them... quite a memorable experience.. haha..

tired liao.. sleep!

i hate university essays

the best way for universities to deter potential applications is just to come up with various contrived essay topics for hapless hurried students to write over and over again about how they are clamouring to enter the school and have done years and years of research over the school and the topic they want to study

gee thanks!

thanks for making me seem so stupid and inadequate, that is.

seriously, i cannot for nuts split my "interest" and "enthusiasm" to dig out 5 separate school's past history and glorious accolades and alumni to write a glittering essay regarding the school

the only alumni i probably know is that Randal (The Apprentice 4) came from MIT. and that Rafe and Brian (Survivor 10) are Ivy League students. That is how pathetic i am. =(

Similarly, I cannot fathom why people are so inclined to ask why I am so darn interested in the particular field of study and how various experiences have "broadened" my interest and blah blah blah of that sort!

like i would serious go and chronicle every single major event in that bloody field of study through my studying years! and like i wasn't forced into taking my particular field of study due to (a) i need a credible andf pratical work and (b) i kena FORCE by something.

so seriously, i can't really answer such questions without looking exceeding stupid and shallow. serious, i cannot tell you which engineer developed whatever shit or what, but i probably can tell you who won what challenge in survivor and that sort. and why who voted for who, and why the weavers are such pathetic trash.

this is sad. i should just reconsider my field of study and put sociology and psychology and architecture.

too bad the world is so practical. hopefully these things will end soon.

strike one for the clerk

my clerk is going to get one whole day off DEDUCTED thanks for sending me on a wild goose chase today to cmpb when all i was supposed to do was to log-in to miw.

how smart.

grrr

suave and dashing?

thanks to haihan for the photos that I "koped" without asking.. =)




i don't get the whole drift about why girls seem to swoon over officer's wearing no. 1 uniform or something but hehe... since people say the few times you get to look suave and dashing is when u get married, u comission and when u do such stuff like sword bearer, then i might as well capitalise and take as many pics as possible. (thou i think i look fat liao... tiens!)

whatever it is, it was fun and a good experience. last time in no. 1 as well maybe...

setback after setback

sometimes i really wonder why I seemed to be completely cursed with forgetfulness...

with the umpteenth time of my loss of 11b, I yet again have to fork out money to pay for a replacement, get down to cmpb, waste two whole week's of work that's stored in my 11b.

if that's not bad enough, i was retarded enough to forget to bring my spectacles to work on weds. meaning I was walking around, peering intently at stuff, trying to figure out what they were..

and if that's not buggerating enough, I still do not have my understudy, sometimes which is seriously reaching alarming proportions since S1 said that CPC hasn't sent any posting order yet.

IT IS NOT FAIR. BTO's understudy has come, who apparently thinks I do not like him. wierd.

IT IS NOT FAIR. Derui can take the chance and gloat at me especially when he gets his understudy at 21st... no no no!!! sheesh.... looks like mr derui's prognostication might actually come true.. but i'll kill him before that. hmpf!

IT IS NOT FAIR. Even the newbie-ish Div QM has his understudy whom he was FLAUNTING and FLAUNTING at the officer's mess today whilst Wee Kiat and I scored one win over Derui.. hehe

IT IS NOT FAIR. I have kena-ed enough arrows and stupid shit like being acting S4 for an inordinate and inhumane amount of time and I still don't get my reprieve?!

oh well. hope for a better week ahead. i'm already threatening to go on strike on 21st if my understudy still does not come. PLEASE!!! I got alot of things to do!!! uni apps are bothering the heck outta me!!!

the reason i watched advent children

what pissed me off was the movie kept tempting audiences like me with glimpses of aeris, with her playfully encouraging cloud and so on...

and when I was about to give up all hope at seeing my first love, she appeared once more in full view to cloud.

the music of her death still haunts me and brings back memories... (even though now putting it as my ring tone and hearing it 24/7 is starting to irritate me as well)

i didn't quite understand the show but hey.. i achieved my aim. =) though i wished tifa, yuffie and the rest had more action scenes instead of cloud's matix-esque fighting scenes and his ridiculuously enormous swords.

i also wished tifa could really wipe the smirk off that kadaj gang member's face man.. too bad sia

project runway

spoiler alert!

i must say, the winner of Runway really kicked ass... the whole collection is truly stunning and beautiful, connected, yet all so varied.



wow... nice!

on a side note, went to be a sword bearer @ Cpt Mok's wedding today.. pretty interesting experience, as well as a chance to talk about Christianity and some stuff about it to friends... will post pics once I get them. =)

2nd year of soldiership

i just realised.. i've just completed my second year of NS.

time really flies. where will i be next year?

aniwez, realised something about birthdays.. doesn't mean you have to accomplish everything, meet everyone on your birthday for you to be happy. i tried it today and ended up pretty frustrated with my family. sighz. oh well, I'm very very touched by my sister's actions, first surprising me with an (obviously not cheap) Crumpler Bag, and then surprising me again today with a cutesy chocolate swiss roll. (though I would rather something a tad more healthy? haha)

and yet another side point, SERIOUSLY how can anyone be so enamoured by a hoarse artist that looks like a fat walrus bursting out of her clothes and makes retarded comments about coming late for award presentations and hence not "fully" dressed.


Hi! I'm mariah your friendly neighbourhood walrus!

might be pretty rich of me saying this, but to aid my friend in curing his inane addiction, I must venture down this path... haha

-nitez-

amazing race down the drain

wow.. if there was a show that deserved the ward for "most deproved" award, it goes to amazing race family edition without a doubt.

this show spews chunks of trash at you as rude, loud, obnoxious americans traverse across the most boring and ugly places in america to do stupid tasks like take picture with some ol' fog. it's a crying shame compared to the classic TAR where Emily fought her fear fo rats in the Indian temple, Charla and Mirna saying "doctoro", and the scaling of the Rumeli Hisan by Meredith.

give me back my amazing race man! stop degrading it with whiny sisters, non-descript families like Linz and Bransens, and the most religiously-deluded family EVER, the weavers.

i'm seriously not watching this trash anymore. pooh.

and another note, IT'S MY BDAY TODAY!!!!! =)

today's off was quite difficult to take considering the mountainload of work I have to dump behind, thanks to so many changes to the management. got quite a lot of things to do today.. so well, better get started! =)

all i want for christmas/birthday is...

1a. my 11B found back
it's REALLY lost. i think somewhere in orchard. I tried the wallet jerking test today to see how my 11B could have possibly fallen out. well, quite easily actually if one compartment is flipped over. bummer.

1b. passing driving test

1c. getting into a cool Uni


2. Adidas Chile shoes - $169.90
I was actually pretty pumped to buy the shoes @ Heeren's Limited Edt Vault on Sunday but to my horror, they were SOLD OUT. I know the "limited edition" in "limited edition shoes" is probably crap cos there are probably like thousands of pairs floating around, but..but... wah liao! very difficult to find sia! now how? go Queensway and search? go Leftfoot?

-sianz-

3. A nice shirt from Zara/Guess etc.. something prom-ish to wear yet comfortable enough for other uses...

4. Charmed VCD Season 1 - $90+

5. Mayday CD, "Contentment" - $20.90

that's all i can think of now. No 1 being the HIGHEST priority. duh. it concerns my life dude.

aniwez, I passed my IPPT liaoz! got silver thanks to my 2.4 which honestly didn't do too shabbily considering I probably gre fatter after OCS... oh well.. a load taken off my mind.. but I still can't concentrate and work well cos I fricking do not have my 11B. how to check mail? how to recreate all the templates I have had? very irritating leh.

-sianz-

birthday curse?

sigh.. life ain't smooth sailing yet again as it approaches near my bday...

i've seemingly misplaced my 11B yet again, bringing it to an unprecendented 5 times liao i think. this is seriously so frustrating and pooh.. i'm so sick of myself losing stuff liaoz...

PLEASE GOD, LET IT BE AT THE OFFICE.... =(

very sad.

dunno if I have a birthday curse... let's recap.

last year 9th dec - i was stuck in Brunei in the miserable cold rain and my birthday passed without me remembering it. then came the most bitter time in my life when I kena OOC from JCC.

the previous year 9th dec - the shock of realising I had one day of freedom in my 18th bday before I was banished to serving NS. then came the whole screw up with Taurus and Gryphon.

sigh. hope this year really is peaceful and I can find my stuff asap. =(

december is a month of reckoning for me.

- my driving test is looming
- my univeristy application results will be coming soon
- i need to pass IPPT and the likes soon

God be with me through these times. regardless of whatever the outcomes, I can smile, take it, be humble and continue with life happily.

sigh

black is not the new black

i'm enraged.

i just spent $6 on some black useless plastic that was supposed to be my new handphone cover.

yah rite. JUST within a day, the silver plate at the front has fallen off, thanks to the pathetic dried superglue.

then the hook for the plastic part breaks.

and i'm left with a useless piece of plastic that i was intending to go around flaunting to Lin Ken and saying "black is the new black"

geez...

to the horrendously wicked and cheapskate salesperson at Junction 8 who sold me this piece of crap, I hope this is the LAST $6 you EVER make.

wah liao... cannot afford enough superglue issit? the plastic you recycle from the used up plastic frames of tamiya cars issit?

not even ONE day leh! what the heck is that!

comparisons of the mutants

was reading the newest x-men re-issues and hmm... find that the x-men team really does SUCK big time.

on the surface, it sounds pretty cool. you have a psychic (Rachael), a teleporter (Nightcrawler), a tin man (Colossus), a phase-wisp (Kitty), a laser shooter (Cyclops), a power-sucker (Rogue), an animal (Wolverine) and their leader, a powerless yet ingenious Storm.

but Rachael is uncontrollable and inexperienced, Cyclops is traumatized by Madelyne, Rogue gets overwhelmed by the super-villian psyche's she absorbs, Kitty can't do much except escape, Colossus does nothing much except get thrashed and thrown around and Storm is seriously POWERLESS.

no wonder it's so easy to whack them out flat. Tsk tsk.

My opinion on under-powered mutants?

Colossus - to the hell with his amoured body. He is but putty to Polaris, Magneto and Harry LeLand, useless against people like Arclight, Psylocke and so on. So often he needs saving that honestly, he doesn't do much help.

Rahne - tell me HONESTLY, does shapeshifting into a wolf with heightened senses help much more than.. say shapeshifting into a guinea pig ala Sky High?

Calisto - she gets thrashed by a powerless Storm. end of story.

the entire Morlocks community- to have infinitely more powers than the Mauraders and yet get wiped out so completely is a VERY SAD FACT.

Prism - his swansong? getting telekinetically smashed to bits against the wall by Jean Grey. wow. nuff said.

Mirage - what's the point of being able to possess people when you can't possess half of them!? and mostly you only possess your own team mates.

for those who dun understand the heck i am saying.. aiyah.. just go read the comics lor.. to each his own..

my birthday wishlist

yay! one more week to my b-day! (now is THAT shameless advertising or what..)

aniwez.. i wanna come up with a wishlist so either people can buy me the stuff, or they'll give me sufficient money for me to buy the stuff.. =) yeah, I need to save my NS allowances to have a fun trip overseas.. probably to europe...

speaking of which, you'd be amazed that even though 4 officers might be going on trip, only one is planning currently. why? cos one wants to be safety, one to be supervising, one to be participant and who's left to be conducting?... you get the idea.

better start brainstorming what I want... need to sleep for now.. kunz liao!

shades of grey

you know what i hate about the weather these days?

it's in this perpetual indecisive mode, constantly deliberating whether to rain or not.. hence the sky is partly overcast with patches of grey here and there...

then when u wanna go out, it rains.

when you get sick of this phenomenon and stick at home, then it never rains at all.

bleah.

worst thing is it makes you procrastinate on not exercising. oh well, i'd better. i need to clear my IPPT this month lest I kena not getting promoted.

I hate it when people go around saying officer sure get gold one lah, sure pass this and that what lah! since when did officer translate to wonderman? superman?

sorry that I had to shatter this precious myth, SAF.

oh well.

there's something about harry...

seriously.. i was disappointed.

was going "what the.." at many parts of the show, pissing off Han and Harris (who apparently didn't read the books)

why so many unneeded GLARING inconsistencies with the book? I mean, I understand the need for compressing parts and so on, but some inconsistencies were downright pointless lor.

1. since when did Beauxbatons turn into NOT ONLY a all-girls school, but also an all-Veela school? sheesh... and speaking on that matter, since when did Durmstang turn all male?!

2. can someone explain the ridiculous scene at the Death Eater's attack on the Quidditch World Cup? ok, I don't mind if you take away Winky (cos elfs are seriously annoying), but honestly!? Harry can just be left there like that!!?

3. what the hell happened to my favourite maze? where's the sphinx?! i paid $9 to see the bloody sphinx and only got to see stupid entagling roots and hedges that squeezed you in.

4. did Dumbledore have a character transplant or something? since when did he get so agitated and whatever?! same goes for Hermione and his befuddling love preferences.. gosh

and then comes the point I don't get. you say you wanna shorten the movie, yet some scenes are stretched inexorably long for no particular reason.

1. what's the point of harry bringing the hungarian horntail on a tour-de-Hogwarts?

2. what's the point of staying in the maze so long if all it will do is just to entangle them!?

3. why the fricking long underwater scenes!?

SERIOUSLY.

oh well.. the movie had some reprieve, namely the scene of Malfoy being turned into a ferret, Myrtle cosying up with Harry and... bleah.. that's it...

and is it me or when the reviewers said the show turned darker... they meant it LITERALLY? why was the whole movie so literally dark that you couldn't see the faces well at first?! maybe it's the theatre I dunno..

but overall, bleah.

two adaptations of love

the wedding

the church hall is decked out in white sashes and has an overall garden-ish feeling... it's all so beautiful and pure... the bride slowly glides in with her train sashaying behind her, her face radiant with joy. the groom waits at the front, his eyes beaming... such is the image of pure, intense love.

Love that was what God had intended for it to be. Love that gives forth a sense of exhilaration and happiness, where onlookers feel a deep sense of gratification when the bride and groom exchange their vows with a sense of assurance. the beauty of true love.

the streets

guys gushing about get girls and their short skirts, making spastic resolutions about needing to get laid by the end of the year. guys talking bout pre marital sex as though it is a natural progression of emotions and feelings, and "you just cannot help it when the mood sets in"... couples dressed to the nines hanging outside China Black waiting to enter the blaring smoky soundbox and enjoy whatever frivolity it entailed

people say this is a natural progression of Love. it is the freedom to Love the way you want to. it is a societal norm. INDEED it is, considering how advertisers and movies akin have been pounding this into our brains...

-----

i might be honestly a prude. My mindsets might be gird-locked, but then again, sometimes I don't think I mind it.

Thing is, what's your definition of true love?

confused, but will hold strong to what I believe.

table soccer comps

this week was one whole exercise week...

which meant more nights bumming around in the mess with fellow PCs that weren't involved in the exercise... and the gearing up for table soccer comps that was gonna happen on friday..

seriously i was pretty convinced one of the pair of PCs would win it all, either Derui-Wee Kiat or Noel-Reagan... thou i placed less faith in Noel cos I broke his defence once and scored alot with that =)

and i was proven right lah.. it boiled down to points scoring, and thanks to the thrashings of Cpt Jean/Max and the two MAJs by Noel/Reagan, they won by an overwhelming aggregate.

which pretty much sucks. cos i sorrta lost it for Derui-Kiatz in the first game when he wasn't around. my one hit wonders and tai-kou shots just didn't click (hey.. i'm THAT good at such cheapo shots that I can win with them man)

think it has to do with them practicing against me liaoz =(

cos we fought back the second round against 2IC and LTA Patrick with my ultra cheapo shots against 2IC's simplistic defences.. hee hee..

all these was played with the funny commentary by Cpt Low as well as Shijing with his subtle digs at Noel and his "One-ness with the soccer ball" and Reagan's PUNISHER BALLS..

but methinks actually if u look from afar, it probably looks darn ridiculous to see a bunch of like 10 odd adults grouping over and table excitedly and cheering for different teams... no wonder fred left early..

but hey.. that's the life at the mess...

sky high

gee.. i'm pretty wiped out thanks to Tiger Trail '05 today. though I'm a little miffed with the organisers for not giving sufficient time for fun-runners...

blog about it when I'm a little more focused.. haha.. cos to me it felt like it was an ORD run akin to the last episode of Survivor where the Final 3 will walk past various torches of the fallen "comrades" and reminisce...

so it was quite fun going back to Pasir Laba Training Area, climbing Bajau, E-shape, Kidney, Lam Kiong, BIC, Bunker and reaching Boatshed... remember all the different exercises held there during OCS...

oh well.. then the cruel March-ORD peeps will obviously tell me it's rich of me to talk about ORD when they haven't even started... -_-

aniwez, watch Sky High tonight. and thanks to the absence of movie critic Linken, the movie was generally appreciated and nice to watch (especially without his every-other-minute-disruption of telling us he doesn't 'do' cheesy movies from disney -_-)

it's disney, it's predictable, and it's cheesy. but hey, it's enjoyable... and i don't mind such mindless fun for a change. =)

what powers does edwin have? he can shapeshift into chicken little! =)

jocie guo is a complete retard

i have 3 theories on why jocie guo refuses to show her face...

1. she's way to ashamed of revealing her facing after singing the most ridiculous songs in the century

2. she's actually a music producer's 3 year old daughter. with down syndrome.

3. she's actually so mentally retarded she refuses to let people take pictures of her with a camera as the camera would "capture her spirit"

gee.. you know what really convinced me her IQ is in the levels of negative? the fact that today's newspapers interviewed her about her song title choice and she said "Oh.. since I did a song on mice, I guess the next one would be on cockroaches."

wow. HOW creative. so the next one is on hair lice? bed bugs?

i mean, if my loathing for her was not high enough when she released the asinine "mice love rice" shit, she actually surpasses herself and goes on to release "bu pa bu pa", an attempt to rip off the popular song from chicken little.

tells me two things. she hasn't learnt proper language yet, hence the baby-language in bu-pa-bu-pa... and she hasn't got a iota of creative in her.

and seriously, those who support her are really telling the world that the singaporean education system has failed. i mean!?! how can so many people go buy her CD?! a 5 year old kid screeching can sing better and sing with more depth than her!

oh man.

let's make a deal...

i'm tired, grouchy and going to sleep soon, considering i need to do a presentation for da-zhuan tommorow.. i'm doing on? iconoclasm... something which I'm not too sure of myself, cos the intricacies and politicking occurring during the Byzantine Christian era sure doesn't concern me...

in fact, sometimes i really feel sad when I read about all the "human-ness" that has gone into the religion, making it so political, so competitive, so ridiculously confusing, making it STAINED. just like salem. just like the crusades... sigh.

but ok, leaving all these religious analysis behind, I must say I enjoyed myself thoroughly today, playing interesting board games at minds cafe...

guess the fun was because we made pretty much the most noise bitching and talking rubbish and trying to form alliances to stop the dominant winner from winning... oh well... haha... was fun trying to broker deals, build pyramids and so on... call it lost childhood... think these days the kids dun even have a chance to play board games...

it's straight into the eye-straining, non-interactive computer games...

quite sad rite? oh well

i have NO life

i have no life. serious.

it's just wake up, go to camp, work work work, eat lunch, work again, eat dinner, stay in, lose in table soccer, lose in pool, sing karaoke, sleep. and the cycle starts again. bleah.

have been wanting to do lots'a things @ orchard but for a startling 2 weeks.. i haven't even ventured near one shopping center... bleah! wanted to buy a winter sonata soundtrack (to weep over), a pair of Adidas brown sneakers, le coq sportif jacket (that i was so pissed i didn't buy in seoul) and so on so forth...

which means... I should schedule a trip to Heeren soon. =) or queensway.

then i wanna watch shows like "Just Like Heaven" and "Sky High" just for the shallow, "pop" fun of it but the idiot of a linken finds such shows "beneath" him and wants to watch shows of "substance" like "Exorcism of Emily Rose" and "Oliver Twist"... =( seriously i was like that last time, wanting to say as though my taste very high and esoteric, so I only watch artsy-fartsy shows and high-brow stuff that has MEANING.

but nowadays, it's just heck. i can't be bothered. my only purpose for watching movies is to enjoy and have fun without getting frightened out of my wits or hide behind my bag half of the time. neither do i want to spend half the movie trying to justify the cost of it as well as search for some deeper meaning. for that i mean "Lost In Translation"... wah liao.. utter trash.

so well.. i haven't accomplished anything remotely entertaining...

and it isn't supposed to be like THAT! My NS biological clock is slowly slipping into the ORD-half tank mode, where civillian stuff come to take more importance... I'm supposed to start enjoying life aint it? =) i pestered Junwen to send me the ORD clock and was so darn gleeful when I realised i had a whopping 99 WORKING DAYS left. and that is not counting the offs and so on lor! hehe...

i told the TCC2 peeps and we all started stating new rules for this last 100 days.. =).. wake up an hour later... go to work later, leave work earlier... but in the end all of us got so much work no point lor.. =(

still, 99 days IS 99 days ONLY.. =)

the artist-helper-actor

went for a fruitful faith seminar this weekend where psychological issues were discussed...

felt the best session was the last, where the 9 temperaments of humans was elaborated on, and the speaker talked about how different temperaments would cause friction between couples etc...

there was artist, actor, helper, bossy, peaceble, perfectionist, secure, observer, ... sheesh.. can't remember the last

aniwez, i think i'm the artist-actor-helper sort.. thou SADLY i'm the negative side of all the temperaments.. =(

helper -> likes to help others BUT might tend to be possesive and manipulates others' emotions
artist -> stylish, creative, emotional BUT scornful of other's taste, might be introverted and misunderstood (nah..)
actor -> loud, volunteers for stuff, attention seeking BUT has performance complex, and VERY self centered

bleah.. so i'm the good of artist, everything of actor and bad of helper...

aniwez, i finished my marathon of winter sonata, and i must say i'm glad i invested time to watch it.. wasn't as heart-aching as I expected.. because the love and joy when they were together was pure bliss... haha

i'm envious.. but I guess I'll wait till the correct person pops up... =)

good endings

I realised something.

I really like good endings to stories. Same with the Butterfly Effect, same with Stairway to Heaven, the main reason I felt irritated at the end was cos the ending was sad... and I keep thinking what could have been done etc.

even in Winter Sonata, I cannot stand the ending cos it just shows like 5 seconds of them embracing after meeting again after 3 years and that's it. WAH LIAO! KENA CHEATED MAN... U MAKE US SO DARN SAD FOR 20 ODD EPISODES AND U THINK 5 SECONDS OF A HAPPY ENDING CAN PACIFY US?!

I was expecting them to kiss and make up and then slowly get married, go to Nami Island for their Honeymoon where they reminsce the past and then everyone is happy etc... then finally end..

NOT like that. Kena Cheated man. Can they do Winter Sonata : The Epilogue?

recap

haven't updated for awhile recently.. hmmm.. been busy? hehe

i still haven't gotten myself to watch the last 3 CDs of winter sonata since I already know the ending, and I dun feel like experiencing the heartache in the next few CDs.. nevertheless, considering that I have to return the CDs on monday, i guess i better watch it tmr then... since there is supposedly some very touchingly sad moments, like when Joo Sang painstaking throws to Polaris necklace into the sea in bid to forgot Yu Jin... wah liao.. how sad is that!?!

oh well.. stop thinking I'm mad.

went out with Lin Ken, Edwin and Alvin, and later Mohan again... i swear if we don't find a new pasttime to engage ourselves in I'll stop coming out.... DOTA is so fricking boring!!! honestly.. it's just a kill, develop, kill, whack towers and end game. restart. rematch. zzzzZZZZZ...

my nick was.. I'm VERY bored. nuff' said... tried to get them to play something else.... tried to get them to like maybe do something else... haiyorhz... the only fun part about playing dota now is to kill off the slutty characters that edwin uses.. ie. Aiustha, Lightning Revenant, Venomancer... the rest of the heroes he uses are condemned to creep-form. u get the idea.

aniwez, days are looking decidedly bleak for me for the next few months despite being so close to ORD... it's like this slack-ORD mood has sunk in into me after me long hiatus and I cannot re-enervate myself to do stuff... so when i stare at the battalion FOE and see the multitudes of exercises... it's really pretty bummerish..

only thing to look forward to is probably all the year end hols and the planning of a europe extravaganza.. can I use my powers of persuasion and coercion (haha!) to get more people going? hehe.. watch and see...

heartache paradise

17 down.. 3 more to go..

my heart is literally breaking... it's so painful to watch winter sonata because it's just so sad. pointlessly sad yet still so touching and romantic.. i'm truly touched by the show, dun ask me why... but I dun feel like finishing the show.. especially knowing the ending kinda sucks... i dun wanna let my heart ache anymore.. haha

oh well... i think i'm too easily swayed by my emotions... not a good thing there.. now I'm like completely living through Winter Sonata, feeling as though the weather out there is wintertime... and yes.. I'm definately going back to Yong Pyong Ski Resort to relive the moments.. it's.. so beautiful.. and now it has an added meaning to it.

Today has been a bad day. I realised how much work I actually had to do with both my S4 and DyS4 not around. I screwed up at my driving so badly I think I failed every single station at the circuit. And then I went home to realise my parents wouldn't be eating with me.. so I sauntered to the nearby coffeeshop and bought so meagre stuff back to watch sonata again...

sigh.. i'm getting to easily controlled by my emotions.

I shall NOT continue watching tonight.

but hey.. I'm wishing for a romance akin to the teenage first love that Joo Sang and Yu Jin experienced... to play in the snow and express one's heartaching desire... and you know what I love about the Korean drama?

they are so conservative that their intimacy rarely progresses beyond a touching hug or kiss... and yet, the emotions and feelings they depict.. are so much more real and beautiful and romantic than any other American/Western show there is.. it's just.. too beautiful...

oh well.. i'm confused.

i'm getting the wintry feeling...

ok... i'm turning into some crazed addict to winter sonata, watching 5 - 6 episodes at one go today... well thankfully i only borrowed CD 1-4.. or i think i'll be watching till tommorow...

always thought winter sonata was dreary, sickening, and made for aunties...

guess i have to swallow my words now.. it's quite interesting lah, and I guess for me being the sentimentalist, that part of me likes to watch such stuff and get all emotional about the "trysts" in their love adventure...

koreans are good at factoring little twists and turns in their tales and it really makes you wanna keep watching it seems...and they play on your emotions darn darn well, even though the premises are pretty absurd.

oh well.. i'm glad i had this hiatus, though I didn't do much, I realised I'm no longer hopelessly dependent on going out with friends or so on to sustain my cheery outlook on life... and for that I really thank God man...

have to head back to work soon... I'm glad I'm re-energised for this.. hopefully can tackle all the crap problems and enjoy life till the dour reality of having to pass SOC and IPPT sets in... what an escapist i am...

heard from a friend abt a fellow officer who kena charged for faking SOC results... it saddens me deeply. why? cos he might kena decommission for this kind of thing, imagine the crap he went through to get the bar, the joy and emotions he experienced during the time... and it's all sent crashing to the ground.

and seriously? I don't blame him.. (or any of the regulars).. cos the army is like that. they talk all about results and so on, emphasize so much on them and laud it so much that people are forced either by hook or by crook to pass it or else their job is at stake. when seriously, who the heck in command has time to properly train for SOC? I mean, aside from the shit paperwork and coping with a handful of men who give your trouble every other day, from having to do IO reports, plan lesson plans, attend a myriad of meetings and talks.. who has the time to "maintain" whatever glittering results they once acheived?

tell me of one job that places such inordinately hugh amount of importance and value to a non-job related aspect that seriously doesn't quite factor in sometimes man. I think not.

oh well.. i'm griping cos this has been what I've been feeling all the way. And I don't deny this is getting to me as well. All the crapshit about officer having to set an example, to lead and excel... all these are stuff WE emburden ourselves with, WE are afraid to lose our pride in front of our men in case we look less convincing when we next tell them to do well for their SOCs themselves. WE who feel that we must do the best ourselves.

but how to? I suck at SOC. I have no chance to train. Truth is, I'm afraid to train with the rest of the battalion lest they can see how badly I suck. as an officer. It comes down to pride right? too bad it ain't just mine that I'm harming if I flop terrifically at the low wall or what. but what can I do? Do I have another alternative?

I dunno. I just pray for tolerance and understanding. I just pray that my pride will stop being a stumbling block for me even training. It really doesn't make any sense for me to just sit back and escape.

oh well.. escape back to winter sonata that is...

i'm cr-y-ing (yah rite)

i sometimes really dun understand koreans.

they seem to be this civilization that just loves to cry and cry with their heartbreaking tales and gut wrenching love stories where the protagonist almost always meets with a foul end, but not before both the male and female protagonists have a) gotten into an accident b) been swopped into different families c)lose their memory d) wept millions and millions of times....

yeah. i went watching "stairways to heaven" after being inspired by going to lotte world. geee.. really touching and interesting circumstances which is really grippingi must say.. though to get to those scenarios, the writers conveniently ignored some plot loopholes.. like HOW THE HECK does Qingshu not realise it is Chengjun and not Taihua when even the fricking hair length is different!?!

i'm hoping for a good ending but apparently my sis says there isn't one. bleah. which means even more crying.

no wonder i liked Jewel in the Palace more.

university rankings

was blissfully unaware of the recent newspaper article citing the Top 30 universities list and how Singapore is ranked high up in the 20-ish spot whilst Penn is languishing somewhere below...

then wham! bam!.. my parents started this furore over applying for other universities instead of only Penn, saying "Why don't you try to Duke(14?)", "Why don't you try for Cornell?"

Damn you stupid ranking lists! Damn you for misleading worried parents and the likes just so to glorify our national university..

Man, if people just used a miniscule fraction of their brainpower to think, they would quickly realise there are multitudes of ranking lists for all different criterias and the shit. Our idiotic newspapers just goes about choosing the list that puts NUS on the highest possible ranking, then publishes it on the newspapers like it is THE ranking, hence deluding masses of worried parents and the likes.

sheesh.

whatever lah. this still reminds me to really hurry up and apply my other universities.. it's become a sore point with my parents liao

Take THAT you Stupid ST biased list!

the irony of it all

gee... just when i psyched myself to go for a run of around 15 minutes around the camp, I ruin it all minutes after by gorging down one delicious wan ton mee courtesy of my clerk...

sometimes I really wonder how I can justify these things to myself. are such temptations really so tough that it suppresses whatever rationale you have and that only after the 'heinous' act is committed does the temptation fade and you start feeling shit guilty?

DOO duty

Doing duty just makes you realise how you can simply waste away one perfect day by just sitting there, talking rubbish and watching inane boring saturday shows.

Sigh. If we are not careful we may end up living our lives like this and one day too late, realise how much time we have wasted.

Friday was one hell of a day with ridiculous requests

"frank, i don't care how you do it... but i want to see 4 cartons of SAF beer on monday"
what... u think i'm some magician or sort that can just 'ting' and things appear?

"sir, can we have more off to top up so we can take two weeks off?"
what the!?! that's a real novel way of asking for off man...

got really pissed cos all this irritating requests and crap was distracting me from my real work which was seriously threatening to explode liao... feel very frustrated sometimes when I have to do mounds and mounds of paperwork, then act as courier service for weapons and so on, hence sacrificing my time to interact with the men and understand them better and the problems they are currently feeling.

felt so detached for a period of time thanks to the bloody beer problems...

i reason that seriously they should increase the pay of the QM. DyS4 does a lot of paperwork and has a lot of interesting side appointments but he rarely needs to really concern himself with the welfare of his guys since there are like only 2 - 3 and they have a high tendency to disappear thanks to their limitless offs it seems. Other PCs have their men problems to concern with, but I'd bet they rarely need to really handle so many problematic "children", and they have much less burden in terms of paperwork.

oh well... this kind of bitching is really pointless... not like it would amount to anything, and further more you never know how others feel about you. grass is always greener on the other side cos you are not trampling on it.

what a bummer!

sheesh... my face is seriously ruined thanks to the horridly dry weather in seoul... now i look like some desert arab with some pimple problem.. my skin is flaky and peeling and even scaly at parts..

yuck. bummer.

oh well... hopefully a few days of singaporean weather will heal it fast... =)

oh, and another bummeration. i was going to run at 9.30pm earlier on after my driving lesson, but geee... at exactly 9.40 when i was about to change, the raindrops started falling and lei-gong starts his thunderfest party of sorts..

cham lah... how the heck to regain my fitness and figure like that?!? already my face looking puffier and FAT... shudder

damn am i vain.

aniwez, one song has been running through my mind the whole night, even whilst i was struggling to parallel park tonight... that is...

harajuku girls by gwen stefani... haha... catchy, ulitmately slutty and so unique...

adios!

photo entry

this is the 3 of us at the start of things... @ Jeju Island, around 1/10 of the journey up "sunset" mountain...

korean food = barbeque, kimchi, hotpot, and MORE kimchi

me atop the "sunset" mountain, my parents gave up 1/3 the way to my dismay...

me @ at some dragon rock thingy.. which honestly is pretty lame... but got sunset view lor...

me at the teddy bear museum going crazy over teddies.. (i have some soft spot for teddy bears it seems)

me at the Yong Pyong Ski Resort which to me is the most beautiful and romantic place we visited... one because Winter Sonata was filmed there and also because it was freezing cold there that frost was starting to appear, giving everything a tinted, snowy look

together @ the final hotel on the day of departure... so fast man!

well... i think i truly enjoyed myself.. and yeah.. was a little VAIN throughout the trip...(count the number of clothes change)

thank god for such a wonderful trip!

back from the land of utter gibberish

phew.. i'm back... what a trip! many memorable things and events to share.. but a little too tired and bummed that i have to work tommorow and get back to reality.. which is that there's stocktaking tommorow and I have to get my fitness back on some track cos the trip completely derailed whatever fitness plans. pooh.

just a few thoughts before i sleep...

1. korea sucks as a shopping place. seriously if i were a korean, i would try to immigrate as fast as possible. that or learn how to buy stuff online... why? the stuff they have there are shockingly overpriced, like more than 150% the price of the stuff in singapore.. a simple comparison? a simple adidas shirt there cost like 34000won.. which is like 60 fricking singapore dollars..

honestly with such encouraging prices it's no small wonder why i ended up with nothing bought.

2. korea really does not like foreigners... there are so few signs around the place that are even remotely recognisable... everything there is the mish-mash of circles lines and dashes... it's like some morse code gone haywire or something... and then when u try to shop and look around, you are completely befuddled by the language barrier and well... you just give up. i tried browsing for a nice le coq sportif jacket which cost a whopping 128000won (of course i wasn't gonna buy it.. just gonna try and see whether it looked good).. this is the scenario...

salesperson: klk#$k3(*>?

me: err.. politely bows and jabbers at the jacket, whilst saying "oromaeo", meaning how much is it (thanks to my tour guide)

salesperson: gestures "128000won" (my eyes nearly drop out)

me: can i try it? try?

salesperson: *#8(2&nhjuhu4?

me: huh? err.. attempts to take the jacket to try it

salesperson: yanks the jacket from me and asks, M? M?

me: YES.. M.. can i try?

salesperson: 98iubBJN*B*? then goes to the store to search for an M...

this is where i have a bad feeling that he somehow assumes i actually want to buy one... so i straight away rush up and frantically wave my hand and say no.. no.. it's ok...

then dash out of sight.

phew... so much for customer service.

oh well.. tired liao.. blog again another time

touchdown, day one...

what a tiring day... finally reached the hotel @ Jeju island after many hours of tavelling.. sian.. my parents are watching me type this in the main lobby of the hotel.. which is honestly, such a wierd place to place a computer...

took some nice pics, saw some nice scenes and ate pretty good food.. will update when I'm feeling better.. =)

farewell my country!

im @ the nexus lounge of Terminal 1, sniffing and nursing a cold as I type this... pooh.. what a way to start my vacation... but oh well.. just pray that my cold will heal once I get to the land of Korea...

dun think I'll go mad with a shopping spree and spend like crazy, but will just relax and have fun... (hopefully)... just surveyed the tour group I'll be travelling with, and to my slight disappointment there is a high proportion of gray-to-white haired people as well as some toddlers... ie, the worst kind of travelling companions... but i think there are some cute gals going there for some korean soap opera "trail", so i still hold some hope.. haha...

oh well... there's still ALOT of time to the flight thanks to the paranoia of my mom, but guess can spend some time browsing stuff and chasing my cold away.. such a buggeration man... i think it has something to do with flights... the trip to japan had me sniffing like crazy on the first day and got me into a pretty foul mood as I went to meet my sis... but it got ok the next day...

think I'm talking rubbish already.. shall stop. hope i get to take lot'sa pictures,have lot'sa fun and come back ready for the battles in the battalion...

farewell my country! (yah rite)

one more day!

i was literally grinning as i left my bunk today after work, thinking of the familiar smell of the airport at midnight and the familiar sounds of the planes... hehe... one more day till my trip to korea!

this trip is particular appealing to me cos it allows me to dump my frustrating and stressful work at my battalion, allows me to relieve my mind of the constant worries of me failing my SOC and needing to training to grow thin again, and also lets me go to the airport as a passenger this time round, and not some miserable "receiver" of friends... bleah..

the feeling is particularly sweet considering the last visit i went was with me wearing a tie and "forming up" in the airport to go to the desolate place of Brunei.. what a turn off...

aniwez, these two days at the battalion sure passed pretty fast, and with fred, tang and wee kiat not around, it was pretty sian-ish.. haha... went out with derui to eat dinner @ JP and was suan-ed by him the whole way with his "you'll get your understudy only in Feb lah!" comments...

if that really happens I'll be mightily pissed and go march to S1 branch and raise a big ruckus...

whatever it is, had a good talk with him after he 'sobered' down and well, i realised I have become more skeptical about the good nature of people nowadays, especially after trying to lead my department well.. the rife backstabbing, the fake cooperations, the many failures and problems my men conjure up have really shattered the vulnerable faith in me concerning the goodness in people... and seriously, i'm pretty sad at that... don't understand why people must degrade to such a level...

oh well.. time to forget it all and enjoy for awhile! yippee!!

a lil' blog history for ya'

you know there was this time in the early part of the year where I was convinced I was absolutely hooked to blogging and found every possible scrap of time to blog about ANYTHING slightly relevant to my life...

then came the blog wars with someone.. and the media-whorish side of me lost the battle against the peace-loving side of me... (yeah rite)

my entries really started to stink and i shifted off to a *private* blog.. only to get lambasted by other pals by my YET again media-whorish intents of leaving cryptic clues like "don't go finding my secret blog"

well, i poured out my heart and soul to that.. but then some people who were either boh-liao enough or seriously "concerned" for me (or whether i was defaming them behind their backs) found a tweak or two and became like secret voyuers to my private life...

imagine my horror when i realised the intimate details in my life were being read like some tabloid trash! (yeah, ok stop calling me retarded for thinking i could protect something ONLINE.. the whole idea in itself is pretty ridiculous as it is)

furthermore, some idiot went to PUBLISH a fragment of my post on his blog, like quoting for the bible or something... and then went on to comment about it.. now that pissed me off seriously..if it wasn't enough to quote me like some pathetic plagiarist, that person misrepresented facts and made me look even more idiotic than i already was...

oh well.. so really, left with not much choices, i closed that one as well and my interest in blogging waned... died out...

several attempts of reviving something all failed, either due to the fact that my first post SUCKS (usually going something like hi, i'm back! hopefully...) or that i had no direction for my blog (personal or media-whorish?)... also, contrary to other idiots who think i don't do anything at my workplace except to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, I am actually pretty busy.

so aniwez, realised that really a blogger is inherently a mediawhore. there's no other real motive of having a blog except to have people reading about your life, worshipping you, envying you, making digs at your life or what.. so well, I'm just gonna adopt this self-depreciating tone of the world and myself and restart this blog...

hehe.. p_f_s strikes back.

shopaholic tendencies

went out with linken and edwin this sat to play dota once again with royston, his gf and some other of his pals..

to people whom seriously think I'm addicted to dota or something... I'm NOT. serious. besides playing it awhile outside and then gushing about the results, I have not even remotely touched dota.. haha.. yeah... (i sound like a drug addict.. sheesh)

aniwez, thing is, linken met us that day with his usual pissy mood, but just this time it was like he had some serious pms. he ranted about how his spastic siblings must have tampered with his creative muVo and how they must have spoilt the catch and how he feels like buying an i-pod nano to replace this...

i suggested taping up the catch and he reacted with disgust, saying that that was so low class and people would look at him in disdain and think he was some pauper on the streets who scrimped and saved to buy a muvo and when it spoilt, then taped it up to "save" money..

he was in obvious conflict with himself that day, as he kept trying to tell edwin or I to stop him from going to wheelock to look at the i-pod nanos and buy one to replace this. to which i told him he would not be able to have an A/X month again if he bought it.

but seriously, i think it didn't work. something tells him he will end up with a i-pod nano ultimately. why? cos he started dissing his MuVo saying that it was only 1 GB, saying that it was ugly and so on..

gee, typical attitude associated with a shopaholic trying to justify a new buy when he/she already has a similar item... i've faced this dilemna too, but guess the reality of the money spent also drags me away from spending more...

so hehe.. let's see whether he'd be flaunting his ipod next round...