recollecting 2005

ok.. a bit late for this but i guess I wasn't too bothered to blog yesterday cos I was watching some hilarious mahjong show..

what sums up my 2005?

oakley glasses. creative zen. iPAQ. le coq sportif tees. mayday CD.

please dun think I'm the epitome of materialism or some really pathetic shallow, vain person cos I'm not.

it's just a reminder of how much friends actually influenced me in my preferences, my decisions in life, and the way I lived 2005 generally. it's a little scary too how easily i actually get influenced. am i losing myself? or am i finding myself through my friends? Well, I never found out in 2005. What I hope for 2006 is to strike a balance and find the real ME.

some various lists:-

3 most memorable events in 2005:
1. church camp - possibly bcos it's so recent, the happy feeling of brothers and sisters in christ working together, having fun together and getting to know each other better is a great feeling. plus, the camp was riding on a wave of me going to fellowship more often and joining church choir.

2. commisioning parade - shi fang le! yippee! the euphoria is unmatched, and the drastic changes brought about by the rank on your shoulders, be it good or bad, is memorable.

3. finishing NDP '05 - the first NDP i actually had a sense of belonging and felt really patriotic about... of course, not needing to burn saturday after saturday was a comforting thought.

i started off 2005 riding on a wave of invincibility after commisioning from OCS, thinking I was a completely changed person, wanting to rewrite history and change from the PRC-looking geek i was in JC to a extroverted, popular person.. serious, that was what I felt...

then along the year, i start realising that i was missing the point, especially with regards to the popular part... in the process of trying to erase my past history, I was discarding old friends and just being disdaining of everything I did in my past - a completely detrimental and pointless thing to do.

2005 was a year I became very insecure with regards to friends, always wanting to fill my schedule with outings and meetings so as to maximise time with friends and so on... i was quite hurt along the way when things didn't turn out as I hoped, where friends drifted apart and just couldn't maintain the friendships forged through difficult times... but then, I realised it was poetic justice against me man... for my discarding of old friends....

so yeah... 2005 was a year of growth, a year of seeming invincibilities and crushing lows, a year of incessant insecurity, excessive peer influence and lastly, a year I learnt alot about myself and learnt alot about my weaknesses.

there's alot of things to do for 2006, i think yet again no point to set resolutions besides the mere fact to reduce any weaknesses and improve on strengths... (doTa strategy.. haha)

so 2006, here I am!