answering questions

in reponse to someone's blog post

you know something? if u had actually known me even before NS you would have known my brand of "anger" is not the fast acting type that goes shooting through the roof or something..

my anger is unfortunately, the cold sort.. and it doesn't make me erupt.. it just.. dilutes the relationship with the person in question till I don't give two hoots about the person... and then I honestly cannot be bothered with the existence of the person stated anymore

happened once, happened twice, now it's threatening to happen again.

what really hurt
i really wanted the cds. but too bad. i never expected a present, and I was duly very touched by it. i never expected much concern cos i knew i didn't deserve it the way I treated people. but all in all, i was more appalled by the senselessness of it, and by masking it under the guise of something I really wanted was pure cruelty.

I don't know how you want me to take of it. honestly, I can just brush it off and act like nothing has happened but something has. and seriously, i'm getting to the stage of not being bothered and wondering what the heck is the point of going out with such people anymore. which is sad. it's becoming a burden.

i always said i have forgiven. but i never did i guess. still learning as always, but if i don't even have a grasp of my emotions then the process will be tough.

what caused the outburst against u
simple. wrong time, wrong place. i had not talked to anyone about this and honestly was going to let it slip away into the recesses of my memory but you unwittingly dredged it up. sorry u felt slapped back in the face whilst you were trying to diffuse situations and i mean it.

it's just more complicated than you think.

and i honestly... don't feel like caring anymore. that's all.

honestly I'm glad you slammed the "i thought u said learning forgiveness was a motto this year" jaunt at me cos it did make me reflect. my brand of forgiveness was to simply glide over the whole issue but beneath the surface there was much damage to the nature of the relationship. that was not true forgiveness at all. may i learn it better before it happens yet again.

haha.. i might not have made alot of sense. but whatever.