am i going to pretend-live my whole life? sigh..
things that seriously frustrate me...
1. michigan sends back an email telling me i still have not submitted this and that.. yadda yadda..
2. my room is still not done. and i'm not intending to do much still.
3. people keep asking me about my unis, and about when i'm going to leave. problem is, i still haven't gotten a freaking school. and if problems keep mounting, i might seriously not get any.
what am i trying to procrastinate from?! honestly what am i trying to do?! i think i'm so smart sometimes that when I look back, I just cringe at my idiocy. i think i'm so darn emotionally capable that i can disect people's emotions and expressions and persuade them to do this and that.. yet PLEASE... i don't even understand myself. sometimes i really wonder just who am i? a product modelled by the society and conditioned to think likewise? a clueless know-it-all searching for stuff to anchor himself to so that he can feel secure?
the one thing i only know now is, that my God is real, and He loves me. other than that, it's pretty much a mess. sometimes i don't understand why God allows some things to happen.
i'm going to sleep. there's no point drowning in things that wouldn't heal themselves by just complaining about them.
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