on relationships

hmmz, it's 1.20am on the first day post-exams and i just can't go to sleep. somehow the supposedly fun and summery two weeks after the exams seems to me like an interminably long period cos yeah i've NO company!! haha.. oh wellz, joshie is still studying, GQ is caught up with his relationship, wj is going for surgery.. haiz

maybe it's some good time for me to go find some solitude, toss rocks at six mile creek, run around the area, have some quiet time. so interesting. first time in ithaca with two weeks with pretty much nothing to do. =)

bittersweet feelings bah. sometimes i honestly ache for some lasting committed friendship like those i left behind in singapore, which probably now has been supplanted by a inane urge to "eh, go look for a gf."

then i suddenly realise how immature and silly that sounds. a relationship is ultimately two way, and its not just meant to satisfy oneself or to "fill up time". and perhaps the one thing i truly learnt from my sis getting married to qiyong was the fact that she changed for the better, and REALLY the better. (err, not that she was bad to start with..hehe) it's like a real synergy thing that makes each other better individuals ultimately, more knowing of what it means to love, and hence being better able to love God.

if there's anything, that's definitely the type of relationship i want. and i guess i'll wait for it. even though sometimes the world tells you to go get a life and a gf, it's not worth making the rash decision and ending up with someone whom you poured your heart to and yet now just drifts apart. so yeah, i'll just wait and...

hee.. go exercise. -_- that's like my perpetual goal.